August 15th

I think of Truman Capote, the ultimate conversationalist, and feel grateful for the opportunity to access my artist's palette on this rainy afternoon in the simplicity of open-hearted conversation.

Shahem begins the conversation:
"Today is India's Independence Day. 15th of August."
"Oh, right."I say. "I nearly forgot. Not much celebration?"
"Sunday is dry day."he says. "No wine shops open." His
unmoved expression implies a firm No to the question of celebration without boos.
"India is still corrupt, you know." he begins again.
"Just like the rest of the world,"I say.
"Yea, but India especially. More than 50 years since independence and not much has changed."
"I understand your point of view, Shahem." I say calmly. "But don't you think it is especially easy for us to be critical of our own countries. We see clearly the inequities, the challenges, the disgusting bureaucracy and the day to day circumstances that frustrate us most."

We sit and talk a long while as the rain pours and pours. The man selling roasted corn on the street is the only valiant vendor who remains.
"This man works hard."says Shahem. "All day he is there."
All day standing in the rain shucking corn, grilling and selling. Each and every day the same.

In the midst of our conversation we speak about the fine line between responsible traveling and destructive tourism. "I must refine my intentions daily,"I say. "and remind myself why I am here and how I want to be in the world: not selfish, not self-centered, but aware of the vital need for reciprocity, exchange and right relationship. The vacuum cleaner approach to travel - take, take, take - leaves nothing but terror and misunderstanding. Shahem nods his head. He is the manager of a sweet restaurant just a block from the temple; he spends long days and nights meeting people from all across the world: tourists whose demeanor, behavior and intention for travel varies greatly. "I grow weary of this work sometimes,"he says. "And sometimes I like it. Just trying to make the best of what we're given."

As we speak, I admit that some days a single woman traveling alone can feel lost in the thought of "What am I doing?" That it has taken me a few days in Dharamsala to understand that my time here is for cultivating concentration and discipline through the practice of yoga. A time for fortifying health and vitality and in the meantime trying to find a balance of give and take -- like volunteering at the Rogpa Childcare Center. "I am privileged to be here."I say. "And it is important to me that I remember to express my gratitude through my actions: showing the thanks I feel for the opportunities for learning that each day brings, even on the days that feel more confusing and cloudy: especially on those days. Travel is an irreplaceable teacher - people, landscapes, customs so different (and surprisingly similar) than one's own. Conversations such as this one."

Shahem smiles softly, gazes out at the rain and orders more chai.